the little ringbearer that could!

Saturday was a big day for the Karasek family (immediate and extended!). The wedding was beautiful (pics coming soon), the reception was a lot of fun (look for my 2 cute boys singing on stage!), and Beth and Jeremy are such a cute couple that, as Erin would say, they make your teeth hurt (which means they are too sweet, in case you didn't get it. and that's ok. Erin's sayings don't always make sense. "haul the mayo"???).

Joe was the lector at the nuptial mass and he sang a song at the reception! My job that day was to get John in his tux and up the aisle as one of the ringbearers. Here is the story of that feat!

As you may know, most churches have a wedding coordinator – a woman who volunteers to stand at the back and give each person their cue for when to walk. That woman usually knows the difference between Trumpet Voluntary and Canon in D, and she is not normally holding a sumo baby on her hip. The Frenstat church does not have such a person, and the so-called best friend that I suggested fill that role bailed at the last minute (thanks Darnelle!). That left me to corral all the kids, assure the bride that all was going smoothly, convince the father-of-the-bride that it was time to let go, and fluff the bride's long sparkly train. Did I mention the heavy baby on my hip?

The music was starting, and there I was crouched down at eye level with Jeremy's nephew Noah, also a ringbearer, his niece Eva, the flower girl in a sparkly tiara, and John (3 kids under 3, please note). Eva was chomping at the bit for her moment in the spotlight, so there was no doubt that she would make it. And she had poor Noah's hand in a vice grip, so he was marching up that aisle whether he liked it or not. John was the wild card. The music started and the procession began. Jane Anne sashayed gracefully up the aisle, mistakenly thinking it was her big day. Now it was go time for the kids. And John started to whimper. Then he started to whine. Then he dropped his pillow. Jane Anne reached the altar… and John was on the verge of a meltdown.

At this point, I have to shout out a huge thank-you to Suzannah. For Christmas she gave me a parenting book on discipline. The back cover promises to help parents “eliminate whining” and “manage your own anger.” (My sister was never good at subtle hints). Anyway… there is a chapter on tricks for getting kids to cooperate, and one trick is to make inanimate objects talk. I was skeptical, but “Mr. Diaper” worked like a charm! I told Joe this trick, and that night “Mr. Cup” got John to finally rinse his mouth after brushing his teeth!

So here I was with 2 kids starting up the aisle, one kid whining, and Canon in D (or was it Trumpet Voluntary?) playing away… and in a moment nothing short of sheer brilliance (or was it desperation?), Mr. Pillow turned to John and said, “Hi John! I’m Mr. Pillow. I want to walk up with aisle with you!” John snatched that pillow and marched up the aisle. Everyone said the kids were adorable!

I’m sure they looked like the picture of pure innocence. Only the people in the back pews knew the truth. Joe had a “prize” for John waiting in the front pew. He had even shown John the toy as incentive (or manipulation, whatever!). Granny had also promised John a prize. So when the little guy paused after a few steps up the aisle, I whispered a reminder about Granny’s prize to motivate him. He turned around to me and shouted, “No! Daddy has my prize!” My apologies to Beth if a truck and a transformer spoil her perfectly poised wedding photos!

I’m sure Joe will post pictures as soon as they are available. It really was a beautiful day, and we wish nothing but the best for Beth and Jeremy. And FYI, my kids will no longer be participating in weddings. If I have my way… not even their own ;)